This week we’ve dove into why pleasure is so important to your health, and why sex-ed is so flipping important for women…
But what can you do right now to have better sex?
Here are five of my favourite ways to have better sex today:
1. Learn how your body REALLY works
Your sex-ed has taught you sex = penis ejaculation in a vagina, that men’s and women’s libidos and orgasms work in the same way and that you should be able to orgasm from penetration alone. This is all BS!
I don’t care how you go about it. Books like Emily Nagowski’s Come as You Are, and Sheri Winston’s Women's Anatomy of Arousal are great starting points, an even better place is our workshop… How To Reclaim a Year of Lost Sex tonight, Thursday 18th March at 7:00pm.
2. Name your bits
Your level of openness and turn on, dramatically increases when you give your parts a name. A name that fills you with pride and makes you smile, versus the internal cringe of a name you hate.
It could be vulva, yoni, pussy or (my fave) a good old-fashioned c-bomb. It really doesn't matter as long as it makes YOU smile. Grab a journal or notebook, jot down as many names as you can think of, google more, ask your partner or friends for ideas (if you dare!). Then scan the list, see what jumps out to you and makes YOU smile.
3. Grab a mirror
Mapping is my favourite way of teaching clients to fall in love with their bodies, this always starts with awareness and curiosity. It’s really easy – list out all the different parts of your vulva including, clit, clit hood, inner and outer labia vestibular bulbs, introitus (google a picture if necessary), grab your mirror and find out what each part looks and feels like to the touch.
4. If you are in pain go to the doctor, but don’t just go to the doctor…
It’s important to understand there is a huge difference between medically functional and feeling pleasure. Once you are medically sound, reach out to a sexologist or a coach that can help you understand your body and build a connection.
5. Turn your whole life on
List out 50 different things that turn you on (that don’t involve a partner) and start your day with at least one. Your libido isn’t just what happens in the bedroom, it’s how turned on you are by your entire life.
Are you ready to learn how to turn on your whole life?
Join our resident Sexpert, Caroline D’Arcy for very special online workshop that teaches you how to feel turned on and create deep, meaningful connection, even after a year of yoga pants and Netflix.
Join us this Thursday 18th March | 7:00 - 9.00pm
* Caroline D’Arcy is a Sexologist, Coach and Founder of Inti-Mate.co , the home of SOUL-LED SEX-ED for women. She has been featured in Killing Kittens, Nourish Life, Sex+zine and more.
If you can’t make the workshop but are curious about empowering your sex life, sign up for her free workshop here: https://www.inti-mate.co/