By Milena Lukic, Conscious Parenting Coach
What does Christmas look like every year in your home? Do you host and have a full house? Or do you perhaps go to your family of origin for a day or two or even longer? How do you feel during and after you've been either hosting or attending Christmas? Are you and your children thriving in the environment or is it often difficult and you find yourself depleted and exhausted by the end of it all?
What if I told you that THIS CHRISTMAS, things COULD look different, and that you don't have to come out of the Christmas period feeling depleted, exhausted, emotionally charged, and like you just need a holiday in the Caribbean to heal you.
Here are my top five tips for a more conscious and connective Christmas with your loved ones:
CONNECT to yourself
Start your day with a short meditation if you can, even if it's "just" for a few minutes a day, then set an intention for your day. Write it in your journal or on a piece of paper that you can carry with you all day long as a reminder; pull it out when you need it.
Stay connected to yourself first. Culture calls this "selfish", I call it ESSENTIAL. If you're running on empty, nothing good can come out of it for yourself or your children.
Check in every 2 to 3 hours (you could set your alarm clock to remind you) how are you feeling and if you need anything. Find a safe space, perhaps it could be the loo if you are visiting, place your hand on your heart, close your eyes, and ask yourself "how am I feeling right now? What do I need right now?". Then try to give yourself permission to do or be where you need to be. Honour yourself and your needs this Christmas. Breathe.
And if you need to leave, leave!
CONNECT to your children and their needs
Do the same with your children as you have done above for yourself; make plans together, ask them for their opinion even if they are just 3 years old! Then remember to check in on them, find a quiet space, ask them how they are feeling and if there is anything they need. Watch for cues of tiredness, being uncomfortable in certain situations, perhaps an overconsumption of sugar or simply being overwhelmed. Do the right thing for them. If you know every year that you have an issue come midnight on the 31st, it's time to give that a miss.
DE-CLUTTER. Scale down
This is a time where we bring in a lot of new things into our home, people, noise, our and our children's' routines are out of the window. Not all children enjoy the buzz or they may enjoy it one moment but not the next. Perhaps you have been a pleaser your whole life and are unsure how to break the pattern.
This Christmas you could honour your needs and be more truthful to yourself in terms of what it is you and your children need. This does not mean you would have to be "rude" and always say to someone else what you need and feel in this moment, but you could do this for yourself. Cancel that one event you feel in your gut is not right for you or your children.
REST, REST AND REST
This is a time of the year to unwind, cocoon and hibernate with our little ones. Yet, in our culture, we do the opposite!
In these times, we often forget to take conscious pauses to fill our inner cup and that of our children. But remember first our own cup, then our child(ren)‘s. Some ways to fill our cup can be by taking a few conscious breaths, a meditation away from noise, a walk in nature, rest, an afternoon nap or a few restorative poses to unwind. Some ways our children like to fill their inner cups are through play and having fun, one-on-one time with us, snuggles and cuddles, connection in their unique way, doing what they like, not what is asked of them.
ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE
As corny as this sounds, when in doubt, always choose love. This may not be possible in that moment if you are triggered by this or that family member or if you or your child is overwhelmed and "things are out of control". Step away for a moment, breathe and come back to the connection at point (1) and (2). What is your / your child's need? If it's all too much, throw it all in the air, breathe, cuddle up and LOVE. In the end of it all, love is the only "thing" that matters.
I wish you a conscious time of celebrating, with much love and authenticity. You and your children deserve to thrive this Christmas.
Milena is a Conscious Parenting coach specialising in the parent/child dynamic. She is certified by Dr Shefali Tsabary as well as by Suzi Lula in Spiritual Psychology. She is a former lawyer, a mother of two, and a passionate advocate for self-care and self-love. If you would like to contact Milena for a free consultation or book a 1:1 session, please email her on milena.dramicanin.lukic@gmail.
