Healing the Roots of Family Tension – What is Systemic Constellations?
The festive season, not too far off is often seen as a time of joy, gratitude, and togetherness. Yet for many of us, it also brings up tension, worry, or a quiet feeling of dread. Old family patterns can resurface the moment we cross the threshold of a familiar home. Conversations that start lightly can become heavy. The people we love most are often the ones who trigger us most deeply.
Sometimes these tensions arise over the smallest things. How the potatoes should be cooked — par-boiled? roasted in duck fat? Etc etc Someone
insists, this is how we’ve always done it! and before long, a simple family meal has turned into an emotional battlefield.
Tip: It’s rarely about the potatoes.
Often, behind these seemingly trivial disagreements lies a memory buried deep within the family’s subconscious — one so painful that no one dares to name it.
Perhaps the potatoes carry echoes of trauma…a family famine or war or remind us of the absence of someone no longer invited to the table.
The argument at hand becomes a way for the family system to express what has never been spoken.
When we feel stuck repeating family patterns, it’s rarely because we lack love. It’s because love has become entangled — caught up in old pain, guilt, or
unacknowledged loss.
Systemic Constellations reveal these hidden loyalties and restore a natural order, allowing love to flow freely between family members.
A Systemic Constellations workshop is an opportunity to explore the patterns that live beneath family tension and reconnect with the deeper connections that unite us.
Whether you come with a specific issue or simply a feeling that something in your life feels “off”, this experience offers a space for clarity, compassion, and release.
What Happens.
Together, we will create what I call three-dimensional living maps, bringing your inner landscape into view through others who represent your family system. As the
constellation unfolds, fresh insights often emerge — moments of quiet recognition that shift something deep inside. These insights ripple outward, transforming not onlyyour relationship with family but also your relationship with yourself.
The holiday season can be a powerful reflection, revealing where love still struggles to find its way home. But it can also be a time for renewal — a chance to gift yourself the relief of understanding and freedom.
By attending to the invisible loyalties within your family story, you not only lighten your own heart but also bring ease and warmth into your relationships with others
and with life. You become a channel for peace — present with yourself, your loved ones, and the generations to come.
Systemic Constellations is a way of healing the Family Within.
Give yourself — and your family — the gift of a lighter, more loving holiday season ahead.
by Zita Tulyahikayo
"I am a Systemic Constellations Facilitator, Coach, Teacher, Trauma Therapist and Writer. Since 2004, I have supported individuals, couples, and organisations internationally in finding peaceful resolutions to complex human problems."
Zita runs regular Systemic Constellations workshops at bhuti check out Retreats and Events
